Swine flu?

So, Ben has a cold. I think. In the middle of July. Either that or he took up a two pack a day smoking habit that he forgot to tell me about.

We were at the doctors on Thursday night because he had a cough and my mom worries. To me, he sounded like he had a cough, nothing major…he was still eating fine, bouncing around like always and didn’t have a fever. The pediatrician agreed with me…told me to do breathing treatments and to check back in on Saturday morning. Josh was here this weekend so he took Ben to the doctor on Saturday morning and they reported back, he was still fine and to just continue breathing treatments until the cough was gone.

Fast forward to the end of today, and now Ben sound awful. I’m always stuck though. Is he sick? Am I overreacting? I already called Josh to have him re-explain the non-existent instructions from the doctor. Yes, he has a cough that now sounds like it is in his chest. But he has bad lungs! Sooooo. What do I do? I am tempted to go back to the doctor again but at the same time, want him just to be a normal kid. When will a cold just be a cold with Ben? Will I always worry that he secretly has pneumonia or swine flu and they just aren’t catching it? I can’t wait until he can talk so he can tell me, “It’s cool mom, I feel fine…I just smoked a few extra packs this week because I was stressed!”

Changes

Now that we are on year two (and down a family member) it was time to update the name of the blog as well as the color scheme!

Swine flu?

So, Ben has a cold. I think. In the middle of July. Either that or he took up a two pack a day smoking habit that he forgot to tell me about.

We were at the doctors on Thursday night because he had a cough and my mom worries. To me, he sounded like he had a cough, nothing major…he was still eating fine, bouncing around like always and didn’t have a fever. The pediatrician agreed with me…told me to do breathing treatments and to check back in on Saturday morning. Josh was here this weekend so he took Ben to the doctor on Saturday morning and they reported back, he was still fine and to just continue breathing treatments until the cough was gone.

Fast forward to the end of today, and now Ben sound awful. I’m always stuck though. Is he sick? Am I overreacting? I already called Josh to have him re-explain the non-existent instructions from the doctor. Yes, he has a cough that now sounds like it is in his chest. But he has bad lungs! Sooooo. What do I do? I am tempted to go back to the doctor again but at the same time, want him just to be a normal kid. When will a cold just be a cold with Ben? Will I always worry that he secretly has pneumonia or swine flu and they just aren’t catching it? I can’t wait until he can talk so he can tell me, “It’s cool mom, I feel fine…I just smoked a few extra packs this week because I was stressed!”

Respect

Respect:

1.	a particular, detail, or point (usually prec. by in): to differ in some respect.

2.	relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route.

3.	esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

My days are filled with anxiety and stress. I try my hardest to smile for Ben…but there are lots of days, I have trouble finding that smile. Three and a half months ago, my life fell apart. It takes everything I have in me to make sure it isn’t our life fell apart. As far as Ben knows, other than not having his Daddy around all the time…everything is status quo. I still greet him every morning with a smile and make sure his days are filled with fun and happiness. We take music class and go to the park. We go to the library and we play with friends. Yeah, there are some doctors appointments thrown in there but Ben is so social, he usually views them as an adventure.

But my own life is very different. I worry about money now…I never used to. The job market is horrendous. We don’t have our own apartment. Through it all though, I try to do my best with the current situation we are in. I didn’t ask for these circumstances, but I try and see the positives that lie within them. Are there negatives as well? Of course. But I try and make sure I see the positives that shine through.

The question of respect was brought up to me recently. I assume the third definition about was the intended use. Esteem, to regard highly or favorably. A manifestation of a personal quality.

I believe you earn respect, it doesn’t just get thrown at you. I find the more you demand it, the less it tends to come. The people who are most respected, don’t need to ask for it in the first place. I also believe that unless you yourself hold respect for the person you are asking it of, there isn’t much hope of it being returned. If one feels that they don’t receive it, my suggestion would be to take a long hard look at yourself and figure out why. There usually tends to be a reason.

I do respect a lot of people. People who are driven, ambitious, loyal, smart and compassionate. I don’t always like the people I respect because there is a huge difference between like and respect. But, these five qualities are the common thread. I don’t respect people who lack the above, or treat others poorly.

I have a hard time taking compliments. I am hard on myself and always strive to do better. I am not always as nice as I could be, or as accepting as I should be. But I know that I am doing my best. I don’t question that. I long for the day when I have time to stress about the little things…in the mean time, I will continue to be me. Because I like me, and I (ok, ok…and Josh) are what make Ben, Ben. And I really like Ben.

Respect

Respect:

1. a particular, detail, or point (usually prec. by in): to differ in some respect. 2. relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route. 3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

My days are filled with anxiety and stress. I try my hardest to smile for Ben…but there are lots of days, I have trouble finding that smile. Three and a half months ago, my life fell apart. It takes everything I have in me to make sure it isn’t our life fell apart. As far as Ben knows, other than not having his Daddy around all the time…everything is status quo. I still greet him every morning with a smile and make sure his days are filled with fun and happiness. We take music class and go to the park. We go to the library and we play with friends. Yeah, there are some doctors appointments thrown in there but Ben is so social, he usually views them as an adventure.

But my own life is very different. I worry about money now…I never used to. The job market is horrendous. We don’t have our own apartment. Through it all though, I try to do my best with the current situation we are in. I didn’t ask for these circumstances, but I try and see the positives that lie within them. Are there negatives as well? Of course. But I try and make sure I see the positives that shine through.

The question of respect was brought up to me recently. I assume the third definition about was the intended use. Esteem, to regard highly or favorably. A manifestation of a personal quality.

I believe you earn respect, it doesn’t just get thrown at you. I find the more you demand it, the less it tends to come. The people who are most respected, don’t need to ask for it in the first place. I also believe that unless you yourself hold respect for the person you are asking it of, there isn’t much hope of it being returned. If one feels that they don’t receive it, my suggestion would be to take a long hard look at yourself and figure out why. There usually tends to be a reason.

I do respect a lot of people. People who are driven, ambitious, loyal, smart and compassionate. I don’t always like the people I respect because there is a huge difference between like and respect. But, these five qualities are the common thread. I don’t respect people who lack the above, or treat others poorly.

I have a hard time taking compliments. I am hard on myself and always strive to do better. I am not always as nice as I could be, or as accepting as I should be. But I know that I am doing my best. I don’t question that. I long for the day when I have time to stress about the little things…in the mean time, I will continue to be me. Because I like me, and I (ok, ok…and Josh) are what make Ben, Ben. And I really like Ben.

Happy Birthday!

Dear Ben,

It’s hard to believe it was already a year ago when the Doctor Wylie said.”You are having a baby today!” I remember sitting in the office they brought us into to tell us the news…I think it was a nurses break room. Dr. Wylie offered to let us use the phone to make phone calls if we needed to. Funny in the age of cell phones. I remember the walk over to the hospital and trying to prepare myself for the fact you were actually coming. I wasn’t scared. Looking back now, I probably should have been, but I wasn’t. I knew you would be alright. I called Babs and Nuno to tell them you were coming. I called Lilly to tell her I wouldn’t be making our lunch date. I called Jackie to tell her I wouldn’t be working from home that afternoon. Then I called your auntie Christine. I got her voicemail and left a rambling message that went something like “Um, I don’t know where you are today…and I know we never actually talked about this…but…I’m having the baby and I need you to be here. So please come as soon as you can.” She was there for me as soon as she could be, only stopping by the house to pick up stuff that I never managed to put in a bag for instances like this.

You came into the world a few hours later. I was told to not expect to hear you cry, you wouldn’t be strong enough. But you did. That meant the world to me. You managed to cry. You came out a fighter and have been every day since.

You spent 72 days in the hospital, then another 17 days after that. 89 days in all. 3 months. 1/4 of your life so far. We almost lost you once, but you were strong. You fought hard to be here and celebrate this milestone and you have made me realize how precious life is. When people hear your story now, it’s hard for them to imagine that this healthy, happy, jumping boy who can walk across the living room if he holds my hands started his life off at 1lb 10oz. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to imagine.

Ben, you are the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. Your happy disposition, and easy going temperament make me proud to be your mom. I love that you laugh the hardest at me and that only my fake sneezes count. I love how you don’t only smell like a baby but also like a boy. Burying my nose in your hair and breathing you in makes me realize how lucky I have been this past year to have you with me.

You greet every day with a huge grin. The second you see me every morning in your room…you give me a smile. Then, you usually kick your legs in excitement. It is the best “Good Morning” I could ever ask for. Recently, you have added in a squeal when I pick you up as if to say, “No, seriously Mom, I am REALLY happy to see you!”

You are special. You love life and in turn, you make me love life. This next year will bring many milestones…first teeth, steps, words….so much to look forward to. We will celebrate with friends and you will get to eat cake with your hands and play with balloons. A perfect first birthday for my little monkey. I love you always.

Happy Birthday! Love, Mom

Happy Birthday Ben!

Dear Ben,

It’s hard to believe it was already a year ago when the Doctor Wylie said.”You are having a baby today!” I remember sitting in the office they brought us into to tell us the news…I think it was a nurses break room. Dr. Wylie offered to let us use the phone to make phone calls if we needed to. Funny in the age of cell phones. I remember the walk over to the hospital and trying to prepare myself for the fact you were actually coming. I wasn’t scared. Looking back now, I probably should have been, but I wasn’t. I knew you would be alright. I called Babs and Nuno to tell them you were coming. I called Lilly to tell her I wouldn’t be making our lunch date. I called Jackie to tell her I wouldn’t be working from home that afternoon. Then I called your auntie Christine. I got her voicemail and left a rambling message that went something like “Um, I don’t know where you are today…and I know we never actually talked about this…but…I’m having the baby and I need you to be here. So please come as soon as you can.” She was there for me as soon as she could be, only stopping by the house to pick up stuff that I never managed to put in a bag for instances like this.

You came into the world a few hours later. I was told to not expect to hear you cry, you wouldn’t be strong enough. But you did. That meant the world to me. You managed to cry. You came out a fighter and have been every day since.

You spent 72 days in the hospital, then another 17 days after that. 89 days in all. 3 months. 1/4 of your life so far. We almost lost you once, but you were strong. You fought hard to be here and celebrate this milestone and you have made me realize how precious life is. When people hear your story now, it’s hard for them to imagine that this healthy, happy, jumping boy who can walk across the living room if he holds my hands started his life off at 1lb 10oz. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to imagine.

Ben, you are the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. Your happy disposition, and easy going temperament make me proud to be your mom. I love that you laugh the hardest at me and that only my fake sneezes count. I love how you don’t only smell like a baby but also like a boy. Burying my nose in your hair and breathing you in makes me realize how lucky I have been this past year to have you with me.

You greet every day with a huge grin. The second you see me every morning in your room…you give me a smile. Then, you usually kick your legs in excitement. It is the best “Good Morning” I could ever ask for. Recently, you have added in a squeal when I pick you up as if to say, “No, seriously Mom, I am REALLY happy to see you!”

You are special. You love life and in turn, you make me love life. This next year will bring many milestones…first teeth, steps, words….so much to look forward to. We will celebrate with friends and you will get to eat cake with your hands and play with balloons. A perfect first birthday for my little monkey. I love you always.

Happy Birthday! Love, Mom

Two..yes two…sunny days

Boston has experienced quite a rainy summer thus far and its only July. There was a stretch in June where it literally rained for about 18 days straight. People were breaking out the ark building jokes left and right. But, it seems we were rewarded with a gorgeous 4th of July. My mothers neighbors own a boat we were lucky enough to be invited out on and we jumped at the chance. It was practically the first time we had seen the sun in months and provided the perfect opportunity for Ben to wear his new life jacket.

He was as agreeable as ever and barely even noticed that he could barely move once strapped in. He did manage to find a way to still get his pacifier in his mouth but there was absolutely no way he could reach his hat and thus it remained on for the entire ride. Ben loved being in the fresh air so much that he promptly fell asleep. Twice. (he woke up in between due to an air horn indicating a bridge was opening)

After that we headed into Boston for a cookout with Ben’s favorite second parents Christine and Vince. Ben loves to be tossed in the air with Vince because he goes MUCH higher than I could ever toss him and they also get to have “boy time”. During “boy time” they do boy things…like grill. Or play with the dog. Or burp. We headed home before the fireworks which Ben didn’t seem to mind.

The following Monday we had ANOTHER sun filled day and decided to kicked off Ben’s birthday week with another day with Vince and Christine at the beach.

“Boy time” at the beach involves more tossing in the air, playing with trucks and trips to the water. As much as I pretend to love the water at the beach, I don’t. It’s cold. And wet. And cold. Luckily Vince doesn’t mind the water and happily plays in it with Ben. We even managed to squeeze a nap in at the beach before heading home. We stopped off at a local farm on the way and said hello to the llama and buffalo that live there. Ben is more interested in banging on the fence that actually looking at the animals but he humors me.

Two…yes two…sunny days

Boston has experienced quite a rainy summer thus far and its only July. There was a stretch in June where it literally rained for about 18 days straight. People were breaking out the ark building jokes left and right. But, it seems we were rewarded with a gorgeous 4th of July. My mothers neighbors own a boat we were lucky enough to be invited out on and we jumped at the chance. It was practically the first time we had seen the sun in months and provided the perfect opportunity for Ben to wear his new life jacket.

He was as agreeable as ever and barely even noticed that he could barely move once strapped in. He did manage to find a way to still get his pacifier in his mouth but there was absolutely no way he could reach his hat and thus it remained on for the entire ride. Ben loved being in the fresh air so much that he promptly fell asleep. Twice. (he woke up in between due to an air horn indicating a bridge was opening).

After that we headed into Boston for a cookout with Ben’s favorite second parents Christine and Vince. Ben loves to be tossed in the air with Vince because he goes MUCH higher than I could ever toss him and they also get to have “boy time”. During “boy time” they do boy things…like grill. Or play with the dog. Or burp. We headed home before the fireworks which Ben didn’t seem to mind.

The following Monday we had ANOTHER sun filled day and decided to kicked off Ben’s birthday week with another day with Vince and Christine at the beach.

“Boy time” at the beach involves more tossing in the air, playing with trucks and trips to the water. As much as I pretend to love the water at the beach, I don’t. It’s cold. And wet. And cold. Luckily Vince doesn’t mind the water and happily plays in it with Ben. We even managed to squeeze a nap in at the beach before heading home. We stopped off at a local farm on the way and said hello to the llama and buffalo that live there. Ben is more interested in banging on the fence that actually looking at the animals but he humors me.